We ourselves may be overwhelmed by our spouse's trauma or depression. But it is important not to show our frustration and negative feelings. We will have to help ourselves deal with our anxieties and fears - so that we can offer support from a place of understanding and compassion. Feelings of shame and stigma and urge for a quick fix to the situation are common. You can forgive yourself for having them as you work through them. Seeing a therapist yourself can help clarify some of these thoughts.