As a loving partner or family member, you may want to know how to be supportive for the mother?
You now have become aware that
1) It is not abnormal for pregnant and new mothers to have distressing thoughts and feelings during what is supposed to be a very happy period of their lives.
2) Tell them to ignore these feelings and thoughts is not helpful; in fact, it is unhelpful. It is particularly harmful to the new child.
3) If the mother is well, feels safe and supported, you are helping not just her but the future generation as well (new child plus any existing children).
So you ask - how may i play a helpful and supportive role?
As a partner/husband, you can ensure the following
1) Encourage her to devote time to her self care - regular yoga classes, anxiety reduction exercises, healthy nutrition and sleep.
2) Assure her that her body shape changes are healthy and beautiful.
3) Help create a safe and peaceful environment at home. This may mean managing your own stress and anger (this is a challenging time for you too). Also shielding her from undue family pressures (regarding baby's sex or ceremonies you both are not comfortable with etc).
4) Being gentle with her mood changes - help her chart her mood, getting her to attend support sessions such as those conducted by Thunai (both in person and virtual options are available)
If you are a family member (mother, mother in law), the best thing to do is to be supportive and sensitive to her needs. Helping out with practical things if you are in the same town (bringing food or giving her the option to come and stay with you for a few days if she finds it challenging) is a good start.
Not rubbishing her fears and anxiety (we have all done this - whats the big deal) is a must. So is not pressuring for a boy child or fair looking child.
Thunai also conducts sessions for Family members on mental health. Please attend these in person if you are in Chennai or online.