THUNAIWhat are Emotions?
Emotions are feelings. To start to understand your emotions, you need to ask yourself two questions:
How do I feel?
How do I know?
But others also have emotions. At the same time as being aware of your own feelings, you also need to be aware of those of others. There are several ways that we can tell how others are feeling such as by observing what they say, how they behave, their body language and facial expression. “It pays to be aware of our own and others’ feelings. Like any other, it is a skill that can be developed and which is well worth acquiring.”
Emotions and the Brain:
Emotions are not consciously controlled- they are based around the need to survive. The part of the brain that deals with emotions is the limbic system. It’s thought that this part of the brain evolved fairly early on in human history, making it quite primitive. This explains why an emotional response is often quite straightforward, but very powerful.
Understanding that emotions are linked to memory, experience and values is the key to managing your emotional response. If something bad has previously happened to you, your emotional response to the same stimulus is likely to be strong. An emotional response could also tell you that one of your key values has been challenged.
“Your emotional responses don’t necessarily have much to do with the current situation, or to reason, but you can overcome them with reason and by being aware of your reactions.”
Positive Actions to Help you Manage Emotions
Exercise: this releases reward and pleasure chemicals in the brain (dopamine).
Be kind to others, because this helps stop you worrying about yourself.
Be open and accept what is going on around you. (Mindfulness)
It’s good to talk.
Distract yourself - Watching TV, reading, or surfing the internet will probably help you forget that you were feeling a bit down.
Don’t give in to negative thinking- Challenge negative thoughts.
Spend time outside.
Be grateful.
Play to your strengths. - Do things that you enjoy, and that are good for you.
Applying Reason to Emotion before reacting:
Ask yourself some questions about possible courses of action, like:
How do I feel about this situation?
What do I think I should do about it?
What effect would that have for me and for other people?
Does this action fit with my values?
If not, what else could I do that might fit better?
Is there anyone else that I could ask about this who might help me?
Making Decisions with Emotions:
The best decisions are made using both logic and emotion. If you only use one or the other, your decisions may either not be very balanced, or not support your emotional needs.
You can do this by:
Stopping before you decide, to give yourself a chance to think.
Think about how you will feel as a result of each possible action.
Consider what might happen as a result, and how your decision might affect others. Would you be happy with those effects?
Take some time out before making a decision.
Consider the decision against your values. Does it fit with them? If not, why not?
Think about what someone whom you respect would think about your decision. Are you happy with that?
Finally, consider what would happen if everyone were to take the same action. If this would be a disaster, then probably best not to do it.