THUNAISometimes, it may feel like you are being attacked by your loved one during their crisis. You can try to protect your own mental well-being by learning how NOT to take these attacks personally.
If it is a physical or vicious verbal attack, then you may have to summon some help - family, a friend or even the police.
Each mental illness, like all illnesses, has its own specific set of symptoms that manifests in heightened seasons of struggle, and an important part of being supportive is understanding how those symptoms affect our loved ones.
For instance, a person with an anxiety disorder may have difficulty concentrating, or feel fatigued and restless; those things may lead to irritability and agitation. Someone with post-traumatic stress disorder may have a hard time staying in the present or have negative changes in their current belief systems; they may feel confused and afraid by flashbacks and memory loss.
Whatever the symptom, it is as uncontrollable as sweating and shaking during a high fever or vomiting during a flu. But when we decide to view these behaviours and events as choices, it is very easy to take offense. This can lead to further feelings of isolation and shame for our loved ones who are likely feeling guilt, confusion, and embarrassment because of the side effects of their illness.
Just as a roadmap doesn’t indicate each tree along the way, neither can a diagnosis indicate every person’s individual nuances.
It can be very hard and lonely to be the person or persons on the receiving end of these symptoms. We understand what you are going through as a supporter. Keep reminding yourself that it is the disease that is causing the behaviour symptoms, and it is not by choice. Keep reminding yourself that you should not associate it with the person.
It is just as important for family members and spouses to have a network of support as it is for the person struggling with the illness. Please reach out and ask for help. See the forthcoming article on how to reach out.