How can i not feel happy for having a child? Aren't all women so happy during there pregnancy and thereafter?
Sometimes i am happy i am pregnant. But sometimes, i have some doubts creep up. Is it worth all these changes my body is going through? Will i ever look the same again? Will i be attractive to my husband?
Will my life change dramatically with all the work of taking care of the child? Will my husband help?
Sometimes still i have worse thoughts. What if i dont like the baby? What if i regret having this child?
You can relax and take a deep breath. These are "normal" thoughts that come to many women. Pregnancy is challenging physically, emotionally and life-wise.
So you don't need to blame yourself and feel guilty or shameful.
But you can acknowledge that these thoughts can become unhealthy for you and the baby. If they become repetitive or if there are other life situations that cause anxiety and stress, they can result in depression.
Without judging yourself for having them.
These thoughts may have some root cause - your own childhood (which may have been unpleasant) or watching others (including your mom). But they may not have an identifiable cause. You can explore this with a therapist.
How do you deal with these thoughts - here are some steps you will learn in a maternal support sessions such as Thunai's Amma, Breathe Please!
1. Become aware of your mood changes and repetitive thoughts (Awareness)
2. Learn to normalise these thoughts without judging yourself. (Sensitization)
3. Understand the foundations of maintaining your mental health during this period. (Self Care)
4. How to ask your family for help? What resources are there in the community to help you? (Family/Social Support)
A simple screening tool such as PHQ-9 can help a social worker/therapist determine whether you need some professional help.